I have sat down many times to write out my thoughts and reflections on the past year of life.  I’m about to turn 34, but my thirty-third year was pretty amazing (all clichés fall short).  I sought repentance from an idol, lost 60 pounds (see idol), ended up in Haiti three weeks before the quake and went back three days after the quake, saw the church of Isaac’s Keep move from a building to house and grow in so many ways, and I’m about to have my third child, my first son, due by the end of September.  Each of these incidents could easily be their own short stories and some would warrant a trilogy.  So reflecting and looking ahead has been difficult to say the least.  I write and write then review and it just doesn’t capture it all or it over or under emphasizes one thing or another.  In many ways I sense I’ve learned so much more about life and ministry, but then again perhaps I’m just more confident in where I am and what God is doing with this redeemed wreck. It isn’t the billboard fakebook status update kind of thing, but more about coming to terms with a lot of stuff.   It’s seeing my wife and kids in totally different ways that have increased my love and enjoyment of these wonderful gifts.  It’s seeing the church and believers for what they are, redeemed sinners; messy, often ugly, hypocritical, but also beautiful, kind, and generous. It’s being content with who I am and not trying to be the check in everybody’s box.  Being ok with being judged wrongly or rightly.  Understanding more about the risk of leadership, getting knocked down and being put back up to do it all over again.  It’s the idealistic “save the world” with the realistic “one person, one relationship at a time.” And finding joy, amazing joy in all of it.

This served as the push (June 2009):